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The Impossible Dream…

September 25, 2010 Leave a comment Go to comments

If I had to make a list of impossible things that would never happen right up near the top of the list, say behind me playing shortstop for the Jays, but ahead of Bill attempting a coup de grace on Kiddo, would be the Yankees blowing their 5 and a half game lead in the final week of the season; thus missing out on the playoffs. I mean, it just isn’t possible. They would have to lose five of their final seven and the team chasing them would have to win out. It’s beyond the realm of reality, like a world in which teenage vampires battle teenage werewolves and nobody just eats Kristen Stewart.

It’s so impossible, it would almost be like, oh I don’t know, the Red Sox climbing back from a 3-0 deficit in 2004. I mean, there was just absolutely no way that was happening. It wasn’t just that no team had ever come back from 3-0 down. It wasn’t even that the Yankees had won six of the last eight AL pennants, heck it wasn’t even that there was a curse prohibiting the Red Sox from winning important games. It was ALL of those things (well, except the Curse rubbish…). It just wasn’t possible, but…

Now, it’s not really like I would take great pleasure in the Sox storming back and ruining the Yanks title defense. I mean, the Sox beating out the Yanks is a little like finding out the Dr was able to cure your chlamydia by giving you gonorrhea. Sure, there’s no chance of blindness, but it still burns when you pee. Seriously, who wants the Sox in the playoffs. We’d have to listen to Bill Simmons pretend he didn’t throw the team under the bus two weeks into the season; we’d have to see all those ridiculous pink hats; and we’d have to watch Jimmy Fallon make out with Drew Barrymore again. It might be better than the Yanks making the playoffs, but not by much. So why am I hoping that a miracle happens?

The excitement of the whole freakin’ affair.

It’s not just that the Sox are chasing the Yanks, it’s that four of their final eight games are against the Bronx Bombers. It’s head to head baseball that would matter. And, frankly, we need some thrills to this season. Sure we had all those perfect games, the not quite perfect game and Jose Bautista doing his best Brady Anderson impression. And we had those two days in August when it seemed like Albert Pujols and Joey Votto might challenge for the triple crown, but beyond that? Yawn. Look at the standings. Where is the intrigue? Any intrigue? The White Sox made their big splash the last week of August when they acquired the great Manny Ramirez. Unfortunately, his talents seemed to get lost in translation and the Sox dropped faster than Lindsey Lohan’s nose towards a table lined with… (well you get the point).

The Twins are leading the Central by 11. The Rangers clinched the West tonight, which might have been a big deal, if they weren’t leading the division by 9 games. And in the NL? The Phillies have quietly broken the hearts of Georgia (you know, if anyone in Georgia actually cared about he Braves, which they don’t), while the Reds’ magic number is two. The only division in baseball that has any intrigue, is the NL West and at the risk of belying my East Coast bias… who cares. Really? Who? The Rockies have gone tits up, which means two of the three from the floundering Padres, floundering Giants, and foundering Braves will make the playoffs.

To the least loserish go the spoils.

A little intrigue. A little excitement. Some reason to check the box scores in the morning. It’s not too much to ask for, is it? What’s that? Dice-K takes the mound tomorrow night for the Sox? Sigh… oh well, I guess it is too much to hope for.

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