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Thanks (for) Hank…

Honestly, as someone who dislikes the Yanks by nature, can there be anything better than the Steinbrenner brothers?  They are the gift that keeps giving and as a fan of any other team, you just hold out hope that they will begin to meddle more and more and more…

Today, Hank felt it important to tell media about what brought down the Yanks last season.  It wasn’t just that they ran in to a pitcher who was so good that they were willing to offer him 150 million a few short weeks later.  And it wasn’t that they have a team that’s getting a little older and – as teams getting a little older tend to do – is slowing down, if ever so slightly.  And, it wasn’t that they had a very successful season, winning 95 games and just happened to lose 4 of 6 in October to a team playing great ball.

Nope.

It was, at least according to the razor sharp analysis of Hank, that the Yanks are spending all their time building mansions.  Seriously,

“I think, maybe, they celebrated too much last year,” Steinbrenner said Monday. “Some of the players, too busy building mansions and doing other things and not concentrating on winning. I have no problem saying that.”

That makes sense.  I mean, when the Yanks season went down the crapper, it wasn’t April or May, June or July.  Heck, it wasn’t even August or September.  I mean, in those months, the first six of baseball after they won the World Series, their distraction over celebrating meant that they actually only bothered to win 59% of their games.  So, sure they were the best team in baseball, but like vapid school girls, their concentration was on projects other than winning.  Still, it wasn’t until October that this level of distraction really cost them.

That’s because, when they should have been competing against the Rangers, Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez were off building mansions.  It’s true.  Jeter was the foreman, he had a yellow hard hat and carried the plans with him everywhere.  ARod was his right hand man.  He ran all the errands that Jeter needed completed; grabbing coffee, scones for the crew, and handing out the paycheques.

It wasn’t just them.  Mark Teixeira was there too.  He was carrying bricks.  CC Sabathia had a Batman lunch pail, and Robinson Cano brought his own hammer.  Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada, and Andy Pettitte sat to the side, smoking cigars, and playing cards with the Union rep.  Phil Hughes and Joba Chamberlain weren’t actually invited to work on the project, but like most men, when they walked past the construction site, they just stopped to watch the work happen.  So, sadly for the Yanks, it was only Brett Gardner and AJ Burnett that actually showed up to play against Texas.  You can imagine how that played out.

Oh well, fear not Yanks’ fans.  The results will be different this year.  There wont be any more mansion building.  The World Series is in the bag.  How do I know?  Well, Hank’s seen the team,

“I was just saying, maybe they were riding the wave of ’09 a little too much, and it happens sometimes,” Steinbrenner said. “This year in spring so far, from what I’ve seen and what I’ve been told, they’ve come in with a real, new drive and determination — the kind they had in ’09.”

Phew, we must all be grateful that three days into camp Hank can see a “real, new drive and determination.”  That’s good news.  Thanks Hank!

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